Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Birthday Suit is at the Cleaners'.

Since it's my birthday, I've decided to share something special. My fifth grade teacher had us write creative stories all the time. At one point, some of them were compiled into a book, which each of the students constructed for themselves.

As you can see, the cover is simply tape, cardboard, and wallpaper. And inside:

We have printed text, which was typed out by one of my classmates from written drafts of each story. So I am going to copy, verbatim, my story from this text. This is a real treat because you get to see how I wrote in the fifth grade! Disclaimer: some of the typographical errors in the text are a combination of my own at the time of writing the original draft and the typist who scribed it.

The Scepter

Books are like helpers of the imagination. They fill your mind with fact and fiction. The only thing they can't do is come to life, until now. There is only one object that can do this, and I own it. It can make wishes come true. Here's the story.

It starts out in the jungles of Africa. I was on a hunting expedition with my father, (pretty ironic, huh?)* we were searching for the mysterious [Great White]^ Bat. We were walking through the moss and weeds, when I saw something flicker. I looked around to see where it came from. My father looked at me puzzled. Then I saw it. There was nothing there but an old, rusted scepter. It looked as it had been there for centuries.

"Father, looked** what I found!" I said.

"What is it? The bat?" He asked.

"No, it's some kind of wand thing." I said.

"Boy, looked** out behind you!" He said.

Ahhh! A snake!" I said.

"Shut up boy and stand still, I'll get him with my shotgun." He said.

Click, click, pow, and*** hiss, was all I could hear. As soon as I opened my eyes and uncovered my ears, father said "Let's go."

On the way to the airport, I asked a question. "Da...Father, who do you think owned this before me?"

"%!#@ed**** if I know! I wish the plane was here." Father said.

"What's that noise? Look, up there! That plane is heading right for"***** us! I said.

"Boy, get out of the jeep!" Father said.

SMASH! Went the plane as it hit the jeep. The [plane]****** started spinning on the ground.

"Let's save it, Father!" I said.

"Fine." He replied.

As we ran towards the plane door, my father tried to lasso the door. When he did, he went [flying] into the jungle.

"Father!" I called.

There was no answer. I tried to grab the rope. When I did, I held on as hard as I could. I got dizzy and threw up. I tried to climb up. It was hard, but I did it.

When I opened the door, nobody was there.

"What a rip off!"

I jumped out of the plane. CRASH the plane went as it crashed in the trees.

"I hope [F]ather is all right."

*I have no idea what I meant with this line.
^Typist had said "White Great."
**Typist's mistake.
***Added by the typist to assist in his own personal understanding of the text.
****I remember the kid asking the teacher about this. The teacher responded that it was "[me] trying to sound like an adult." He didn't like me very much.
*****Another error on the typist.
******Inserted missing word.

Laughable. It remains incomplete. I remembered it being longer, though. At the time, I guess it would have been for me.

"The Great White Bat" was inspired by the film Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, of which I was a huge fan at the time. I loved Jim Carrey. The character of the father was inspired by the hunter/father from Jumanji. In fact, I remembered having him refer to his son as "Sonny Jim" at one point.


AubrieAnne said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Also I think it's great to look at your old work and compare what you did then to what you are doing now. I just found some of my old stuff and thought it was so cool. At least, I actually finished manuscripts back then. lol. also, nice construction and very creative.

Matt Dimitroff said...

Thanks! I showed a story I had written from back before then and they were surprised. Mostly because they don't give me any credit.

You should post your old stuff, too!

AubrieAnne said...

LOL! I don't know. I'm hesitant to post my NEW stuff, mostly because I keep changing it though lately.

Matt Dimitroff said...

It couldn't hurt. I think whatever you might have written would far surpass "The Scepter" and I think your followers would appreciate it, too.

AubrieAnne said...

I look into it. I'll have to find something first. lol. I didn't write too much fiction. I wrote a lot of fanfiction, kind of. Hmmm...

Matt Dimitroff said...

Oh, that's great! Fan-fiction isn't always respected in the writing world, but it's something that I've considered in the past. I once drafted a few episodes of a crossover between Sliders and Quantum Leap.

AubrieAnne said...

Yeah, but fanfiction is a great way to get into writing. It removes the details and just allows you to write. Plus, I can think of a few authors that got a good start up by selling fan fiction to publishing companies like Simon Pulse.

Not saying that that is something I ever wanted to do, but there is something there.

Matt Dimitroff said...

I'm not opposed to writing more fan-fiction. In fact, I'd have to write for other stories if I ever wanted to get into animation.